Ivanka’s Full Frontal

Photo by Michael Vadon | CC BY 2.0


Good my lord,

You have begot me, bred me, loved me.

I return those duties back as are right fit:

Obey you, love you, and most honor you.

— Cordelia, King Lear

Last Sunday Ivanka Trump posted a curiously timed photo of herself nuzzled up to her son with the caption “Sunday Morning.” This came on the heels of news that the US Department of Health and Human Services had lost 1,500 children at the immigration border. Have no fear, The Resistance is here. Leading the cause has been Full Frontal host Samantha Bee. Before diagnosing Ivanka (a far more rewarding task), let us try to understand what full frontal means. The term refers to a completely naked front of the body. This is not to be confused (or maybe it is) with the term “full frontal feminism”.

Clearly, Ivanka’s photo with her son was not full frontal enough as Bee insisted that Ivanka should: “Do something about your dad’s immigration practices, you feckless cunt! He listens to you! Put on something tight and low-cut and tell your father to fucking stop it!” This is not the first time the concept of the family has confused Mrs. Bee, as she tipped her hat to eugenics after she had to explain away her three children. Bee said that she and her husband were “just procreating like we’re farmers.” Replace the word farmers with the word Mexicans and you have a Rosanne Barr-like-crisis for liberals.

The liberals got even cuter, with Teen Vogue’s Emily Lindin…

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