A certain very erudite and always entertaining social critic remarked recently that he always thought the worst of people. He went on to say \u2013 perhaps, at most, half jokingly \u2013 that he was always right about them, too. He then revealed that he actually had been very trusting as a boy; that he believed everyone and often got taken advantage of. He certainly doesn\u2019t get taken advantage of much now, I\u2019m sure. But what he doesn\u2019t know is that in one significant way he hasn\u2019t changed at all.<\/p>\n
The man\u2019s admission of his boyhood as a doormat didn\u2019t surprise me, for gullibility and cynicism are two sides of the same coin. They are both a function of naivet\u00c3\u00a9, which can be defined as ignorance about reality. The gullible person proceeds as if everyone is good and trustworthy, whereas the cynic proceeds as if everyone is essentially bad and untrustworthy. But reality is quite different: There are, practically speaking, \u201cgood\u201d people and \u201cbad\u201d people, the well-meaning and the self-serving. And possessing discernment enables one to distinguish between the two groups. Yet the gullible person trusts people even when he shouldn\u2019t and the cynic fails to trust them even when he should.<\/p>\n
The transition from gullible babe in the woods to steadfast cynic is easy to understand. The budding cynic, lacking in what some today called \u201cemotional I.Q.,\u201d is unable to draw the aforementioned distinctions among people; they all look the same to him. But being essentially good \u2013 and, as people will do, supposing that others operate as he does \u2013 he assumes that virtually everyone can be trusted. Then, of course, it isn\u2019t long before the wrong person betrays his trust \u2013 and it happens again and again and again (this is especially problematic since con artists, generally possessed of great feel for man\u2019s nature, will sense his gullibility and target him specifically). Not wanting to be burned again, the babe then switches modes and ceases to trust, but not just those unworthy of it. For he still can\u2019t distinguish between the good and bad; people still all look the same to him, so the untrustworthy who scarred him now just seem like a representative sample of man. Thus does he assume that all people are basically self-serving and often mercenary.<\/p>\n
Of course, the babe no doubt also knew people who didn\u2019t betray him. Just as it\u2019s usually only bad news that makes headlines, however, it\u2019s his personal bad news that captures the headlines in his mind. Besides, cynicism becomes a survival tactic: Since he never knows who would plunge that knife into his back, he finds it safer to never turn it on anyone. And so just as the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the babe becomes the cynic, seemingly a very different creature but actually still the same one.<\/p>\n
This won\u2019t be how the cynic sees it, though. He will fancy he has grown up when he has only grown soul-sick; he will assume he is worlds apart from his old self when that person is but a dime\u2019s width away. \u201cI\u2019m onto you now!\u201d the cynic may think; \u201cYou can\u2019t fool me!\u201d but he has fooled himself. He may stand around, with a knowing air, talking about the cynical motives of the government, the Church, environmentalists, pro-lifers and anything sentient that walks on two legs, and he may be right half the time \u2013 just as the babe was. But he is still painting everyone with the same brush; he just has changed his color choice from Angel White to Demon Night.<\/p>\n
Cynicism is hard to recover from, too. This is not just because it\u2019s a survival tactic, but also because it\u2019s a simple way of comprehending the world (and people like simple explanations) and gives the cynic that sense of being a sophisticate immune to guile. Moreover, it seems to make sense. After all, to paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, if you look for the worst in people, you\u2019re sure to find it \u2013 even if you have to imagine it. Everyone has failings, \u201cbad news\u201d that easily will capture headlines in the cynic\u2019s mind and be used to characterize the individual. Just as significantly, much of what we do and say lends itself to interpretation, which is why misunderstanding always lurks just around the corner. What did Jim really mean by what he said? And while the cynic, never having been good at reading people, isn\u2019t the best candidate for rendering this interpretation, you know what it will be. Every innocent misstep will be insidious malevolence, every slip of the tongue a calculated, subtle slight. And every reading will further confirm what he already \u201cknows\u201d about people.<\/p>\n
For this reason, the cynic is much like the woman who has been jilted romantically and hurt: Having had her heart broken by a man and never wanting to experience such pain again, she hardens her heart; she puts a wall around it, never letting another fellow get close. And for the same reasons why the cynic doesn\u2019t trust man, she doesn\u2019t trust men: She has found it safer to just paint all men with the same dark brush (this is, by the way, one of feminism\u2019s root causes), and anger makes this emotionally appealing. The cynic likewise feels safe behind his walls of misanthropy; this, along with the fact that he sees people as having confirmed his conception of man\u2019s nature for many years, and because he has an ego, make him so sure of his judgments that it\u2019s unlikely he will ever question his cynicism. This is why good religion counsels against \u201crash judgment.\u201d<\/p>\n
This brings us to the tragedy of cynicism. What the cynic mistakes for the walls of his fortress are really the boundaries of his prison; what he thinks keeps the bad at bay actually shuts the good out. His world is a dark place, where he perceives the sinful but doesn\u2019t see the saintly \u2013 at least not most of it. To make matters worse, he magnifies the bad because he misreads much of his fellow man\u2019s light as darkness. He has created not only his own hell, but his own devils. They surround him, and should he lower his walls he will be devoured.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But to become cynical is to give the Devil his victory. There is a social phenomenon today whereby we will sacrifice great joy and freedom for a gram of safety; we will eliminate dodgeball, high diving boards at hotels, large sodas, and anything else that may imperil us as we ensconce our children in Beelzebub\u2019s bubble wrap. But you risk your life just by living, and you can\u2019t really live without accepting risk. This is true in the emotional realm as well. While we should mature beyond gullibility and not play the doormat, we can\u2019t fully imbibe the human experience without opening ourselves up to other humans and risking at least the possibility of being hurt. As our capacity to trust dies, so does our capacity to live.<\/p>\n
The irony of cynicism is that while it is the belief that all people act out of selfish motives, it is motivated by a desire to protect the self. Thus, the best way to combat selfishness isn\u2019t to erect those walls. It is to tear them down.<\/p>\n
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