{"id":259172,"date":"2016-07-31T03:48:27","date_gmt":"2016-07-31T03:48:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/newswire\/comrade-vladimir-and-comrade-donald-2\/"},"modified":"2016-07-31T03:48:27","modified_gmt":"2016-07-31T03:48:27","slug":"comrade-vladimir-and-comrade-donald-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/newswire\/comrade-vladimir-and-comrade-donald-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Comrade Vladimir and Comrade Donald"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

It is a dark night in New York, a city that knows how to keep its secrets. But on the top floor of Trump Tower, one man sits in solitude, tweeting out life\u2019s painful truths. Donald Trump, billionaire.<\/p>\n

Far below, a black limousine pulls up at the rear entrance in an unlighted, narrow alley. A lone figure in dark glasses, a black trench coat, and an even blacker fedora alights with the agility of a seasoned athlete. He is quickly admitted.<\/p>\n

Running up the many flights to the top floor he is ushered into the billionaire\u2019s presence.\u00a0 He takes off his hat but not his glasses.\u00a0 The billionaire gives him a big hug:<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 Comrade Vlad, glad to see you made it! \u00a0Terrific!\u00a0 A real honor for me.\u00a0 Huge honor. \u00a0Terrific!!\u00a0 You came all the way here just to chat!\u00a0 How did you get here?<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>.\u00a0 Comrade Donald, how are you?\u00a0 No problem getting here.\u00a0 I parachuted into Central Park from one of our biggest bombers.\u00a0 Great fun!\u00a0\u00a0 Of course, American radar was unable to see us.\u00a0 It is the same junk used for the \u201canti-missile\u201d systems.\u00a0 And I will take a commercial airliner home.\u00a0 I only have to get past the TSA.\u00a0 And they don\u2019t even look at you unless you are a disabled grandmother.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 I knew that antimissile stuff was junk.\u00a0 We are being totally ripped off by the Military Industrial Complex.\u00a0 That pisses me off.\u00a0 That is going to end soon \u2013 very soon.\u00a0 Very, very soon.<\/p>\n

Current Prices on popular forms of Silver Bullion<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>.\u00a0 Cheez, Comrade Donald, I appreciate that you are a man of peace, but with you, the bottom line is always such a big deal.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 A penny saved is a penny earned, Vlad.<\/p>\n

Do you know who hacked into the DNC and gave those emails to Assange?<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>. We do not know.\u00a0 We do not do that, as you know.\u00a0 No interference in the elections of other countries; we don\u2019t like it when the US does it to us, and we have no intention of doing it to others.\u00a0 But we have a hunch who did the hacking \u2013 though we cannot be sure. \u00a0It is the DNC itself!\u00a0 They hacked themselves, then accused me of doing it to.\u00a0 The idea was to make it look like I was interfering to help you.\u00a0 We do not do that, as I said.<\/p>\n

It is a really dirty business that DNC gang has been up to.\u00a0 Never saw anything like it \u2013 not even from Nuland and her poodle Poroshenko.<\/p>\n

Likewise, Hillary\u2019s gang did everything they could to destroy Bernie.\u00a0 Too bad he turned out to be so weak.\u00a0 I can understand his supporters\u2019 fury at his betrayal of them.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 Too bad.\u00a0 Bernie had some good things to say.\u00a0 But the system is rigged. \u00a0He never had a chance because he was not tough.<\/p>\n

Do you have any more information on ISIS?<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>.\u00a0 It remains the same.\u00a0 Hillary\u2019s faction in your government continues to support it through your allies.\u00a0 And your government is spending a bundle on it.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 I should have known that.\u00a0 Killing innocents over there, including Americans \u2013 and she has us paying for it.\u00a0 A waste of life \u2013 and a colossal waste of money.<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>.\u00a0 Cheez, Donald, you always keep your eye on the money. \u00a0Sometimes I have nightmares about the first trade deal I will negotiate with you next year.\u00a0 I am afraid you will negotiate the shirt off my back.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 Better an exchange of money than an exchange of nukes, Vlad. \u00a0\u00a0We agree on that.<\/p>\n

But I would like to get through the general election spending as little on TV as I did in the primaries.\u00a0 Almost nothing!\u00a0 I wish I could pull off such a low-cost operation with the golf courses.<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>.\u00a0 Comrade Donald, I am afraid that the New York Times knows that we are discussing a future structure of peace between our countries, our new detente.\u00a0 They are going all out to stop it.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about it.\u00a0 They have less and less influence \u2013 only among the crowd that blindly follows the New Yorker and NPR.\u00a0\u00a0 Very few people actually, and their number is plummeting.\u00a0 The media\u2019s crazed attacks on me -and you- have undercut their credibility even further.<\/p>\n

The public editor of the Times wrote a piece just the other day complaining that the paper is out of touch with all but a small segment of the American public.\u00a0 This is news to the writers at the Times, believe it or not.<\/p>\n

The fall of the NYT began with their front-page lies about WMD to get us into the Iraq invasion, \u00a0and it has ended with their relentless, wild attacks on me.\u00a0 Those attacks may prove their Waterloo.\u00a0 Their very business might be threatened.\u00a0 In fact, news came today that the profits of the Times are falling sharply. Of course, my son in law may be able to pick up the pieces and become the owner of the paper \u2013 at bargain rates, I might add.<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>.\u00a0 One more thing.\u00a0 We have word of an assassination plot against you.\u00a0 You better wear that red hat we gave you all the time.\u00a0 The hat looks ridiculous, but you can only do so much with a steel lining.<\/p>\n

The neocons are ready with the snipers that they used in The Maidan.\u00a0 Vicious guys.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 Well, you know what they say, Vlad.\u00a0 You cannot walk in fear if you want to accomplish things.<\/p>\n

And I have one more favor to ask of you.\u00a0 Do you know who has the 30,000 missing emails of Hillary\u2019s?<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>. We do not know.\u00a0 But our best information is that Mossad has them.\u00a0 Perhaps you should offer a reward for them.<\/p>\n

The Donald<\/strong>.\u00a0 Not on your life.\u00a0 I do not want to spend the money.<\/p>\n

Good night Comrade Vlad.<\/p>\n

Vlad<\/strong>.\u00a0 Good night. Comrade Donald.<\/p>\n

(He mutters under his breath as he leaves.)<\/p>\n

He is certainly a great man of peace \u2013 but cheez, what a cheapskate.<\/p>\n

Endnote: Thanks to Guy Noir for inspiring the opening paragraph.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

The Best of John V. Walsh<\/a><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is a dark night in New York, a city that knows how to keep its secrets. But on the top floor of Trump Tower, one man sits in solitude, tweeting out life\u2019s painful truths. Donald Trump, billionaire. Far below, a black limousine pulls up at the rear entrance in an unlighted, narrow alley. A […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[519],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-259172","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-newswire"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=259172"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259172\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=259172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=259172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rinf.com\/alt-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=259172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}