Putting the ID in idiotic把ID的白痴
ISN’T IT reassuring that the finest minds of their generation are serving in Gordon’s government.是不是寬慰的是，最優秀的頭腦，他們這一代人是在職在戈登的政府。 Take home secretary Jacqui Smith and her brilliant solution to the problem of compulsory identity cards: making them voluntary!以英國內政大臣傑葵史密斯和她燦爛的辦法來解決強制身份證：使他們自願！ This oxymoronic U-turn sets a new benchmark in government dithering.這oxymoronic的掉頭樹立了一個新基準，政府抖動。
The whole point about identity cards - or so Tony Blair told us - was that they were meant to be held by everyone.整點約身份證-或者使英國首相布萊爾告訴我們-是他們是意味著將舉行由每一個人。
That way, wrong uns, illegals and people with dark faces (sorry, “criminally profiled terrorist suspects”) would be easy to spot because they wouldn’t have said card.這樣一來，錯了UNS ，偷渡者的人與黑暗的面孔（對不起， "刑事責任異型恐怖嫌犯" ） ，將容易被發現，因為他們也不會說卡。
They could then be banged up for weeks without charge under the proposed law on detention of suspected terrorists.他們然後可以banged了幾個星期未經起訴，根據擬議法被拘留的恐怖嫌疑人。
Now that the cards are voluntary, the terrorists, illegals, etc, will not even have to go to the inconvenience of forging their own ID cards.目前該卡是自願的，恐怖分子，非法移民等，甚至不會有去不便鍛造自己的身份證。
Only those who actually have the cards will be liable to arbitrary arrest and detention by the police, when they inevitably confuse Mr Oswald B Linden with Osama bin Laden.只有那些真正有卡會被任意逮捕和拘留的，由警察，當他們無可避免混淆主席奧斯瓦爾德b林登與奧薩馬。
We can sleep safely in our beds, secure in the knowledge that they know where we live.我們可以安全地睡在我們的床，安全的，在知識，他們知道我們的生活。
In her further wisdom, Ms Smith has made students an exception to voluntary compulsion.在她的進一步智慧女士，史密斯已經取得了學生的一個例外，以自願強迫。 They will all be expected to have identity cards.他們都將可望擁有身份證。
Which is inspired because, of course, students are the one group in society that can be guaranteed to lose their identity cards, after using them to cut up lines of coke or whatever.這是鼓舞，因為，當然，學生是一組在社會上能得到保證，以喪失自己的身份卡，用後他們降低了線路的焦炭或諸如此類。 This means that the government won’t have to go to the trouble of losing the identity cards itself, in the way it lost the child benefit records of 25 million citizens.這意味著，政府將不會去的麻煩，失去了身份證本身，在這樣失去了兒童福利金的紀錄， 25多萬市民。
Senior managers at HM Revenue and Customs have been amply rewarded for losing our bank accounts, national insurance numbers and pension details and posting them in a Jiffy bag to al-Qaeda.高級管理人員在國稅局和海關已經給予重獎，為失去我們的銀行賬戶，國家保險號碼和退休金的細節和張貼在jiffy袋蓋達。 A grateful government has increased their bonuses by more than 50%.感激政府加大了他們的獎金由50 ％以上。
You might find it surprising that officials in dysfunctional government departments are getting any bonuses at all, but incompetence on this scale doesn’t come cheap.你也許覺得奇怪的官員在功能失調的政府部門得到任何獎金，在所有的，但無能，這種規模並不便宜。
It takes brains to lose £3.3 billion in overpaid tax credits, and civil servants need proper incentives or, heck, they might go to the private sector.它的大腦失去£ 33億多稅收抵免，以及公務員需要適當的鼓勵，或者heck ，他們可能會到私營部門。
Talking of which, Gordon Brown himself must surely be in line for some kind of bonus for losing £4bn of our money on the bullion markets.說到這，英國財政大臣布朗本人一定是按照某種獎金為虧損40億英鎊，我們的錢放在金銀市場。
Gordo sold most of Britain’s gold reserves off the back of a lorry eight years ago when it was worth $275 an ounce. gordo售出大部分英國的黃金儲備過後面的一輛貨車在8年前，當它是價值275美元盎司。 Now the yellow stuff is trading at nearly a $1000, which makes GB the biggest rogue trader since Jerome Kerviel.現在黃河的東西是交易近1000元，這使得綠化地帶最大的無賴交易員自杰羅姆kerviel 。
You can see why banks are so keen on hiring top politicians like Tony Blair when they leave office.你可以看到，為什麼銀行如此熱衷於聘用高層政治家們都喜歡英國首相布萊爾時，他們離開辦公室。 I bet Societie General will be lining up to hire Mr Brown, who will be able to name his price even if he can’t price his name.我敢打賭， societie一般會排隊聘請布朗先生，他們將能夠姓名，他的代價，即使他不能物價他的名字。
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