Grosser Bruder paßt Sie Google auf

BEN GRABOW

Das Internet-Suchphänomen, ein Markenname, der Gegenstandswort und Verb ist-, wird nah aufgepaßt. Aber es ist nicht das NSA oder der CIA, der Ihre Geschichte grast. Es ist Google selbst.

Ja paßt Google Sie Google auf, und sie haben aufgepaßt, solange Sie Googling gewesen sind.

Google weiß, wann Sie geschlafen haben, Google weiß, wann Sie wach sind, und Google hat Filter, die zwischen schlechtem und gutem erkennen, wenn Sie für Grund der Güte gut sein möchten. Google weiß, wo Sie kaufen und was Sie lesen. Google remembers that time you thought you had lupus.

In reality, Google knows these things about your computer, not necessarily about you. They track the sites your computer visits by logging your IP address and your cookies (not your Oreos, but I’m sure they’re working on it). And by now this is pretty much common knowledge. At the very least, it’s readily available in their privacy policy. Go ahead, Google it.

Google has, however, recently reached a new level of watchfulness. And as anyone who has a Google email account will tell you, it’s kind of creepy.

But let’s back up a second. If I know that Google’s watching every keystroke, and I know that Google is storing that information, why would I want an email account provided by the All-Seeing Eye? Simple. I really like Google.

This is a site that bases its popularity on simplicity and results. The interface is intuitive and clean, the advertisements are small and unobtrusive, and I always find exactly what I’m looking for. I have used Google so much and to such great effect that Googling has become a way of life. Coworkers seek out my Googling abilities. My Google-Fu is strong.

So naturally, I wanted a Gmail account. But even I was unprepared for the true power of Google.

Basically, it works like this: A friend invites you to Gmail. You happily join and add a sixth email address to your collection. After sending a few emails, you begin to notice that the small, unobtrusive advertisements in the margins seem to be based upon emails you have just sent. It’s as if someone was reading your email and using that information to sell you on organic lupus treatments.

But it doesn’t stop there. Once you’ve signed in, your Google searches are tracked to that account. Suddenly there’s a name and, if you’ve uploaded a picture, a face to that search. It’s scary enough in its own right, but even more frightening in the hands of a website with satellite images of your porch.

Of course, Google is not alone in this kind of online surveillance. In fact, virtually every site with a sign-on or search engine is tracking your visit. The difference is, the other sites aren’t as transparent about it. And the other sites don’t offer up the resulting research as ads for you to ignore.

It’s getting to the point where Google will not only know exactly what you’re looking for, it will know before you do. First your email, and then your mind. So don’t be surprised when the next advertisements show up before you’ve typed a word.

And if you plan to find instructions for a tinfoil hat, please, use Yahoo!

(Ben Grabow writes for the young, the urban, and the easily amused. Contact him at thinlyread(at)gmail.com.)

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