Police procedural 2015: Kill all suspects

American Policing 101, for the year 2015: Principles to memorize.

HOW TO STOP A SUSPECT

1. It’s best to shoot to kill with all suspects. Do not call for back up to help take them down. Do not rely on pepper spray or non lethal ammunition. Do not tackle them—you might slightly injure yourself. Do not shoot them just because they’re black. Shoot them because they’re afraid or trying to get away—and black.

2. Shoot to kill, every time. Do not shoot at their legs or hips, since that might stop them without killing them.

3. If they’re white you need not shoot them unless they’re acting crazy (or “crazy”). If they’re white (or any other color) but seem to be suffering hallucinations, whether from a bipolar condition or drugs, kill them immediately. Do it quicker if they have an ink pen or a small broken bottle or some other deadly implement.

4. If they have what is likely a toy gun, shoot them. You can’t take a chance. A ten year old boy can be as deadly as a thirty year old man. Shoot them and then check.

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